


A Life of His Own

by Angelise (angelise7)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: M/M, OMG! Blair has feelings for someone not Jim!!!, OTP fans DON'T READ!, The Ending is Left to YOUR Imagination!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 08:58:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3113864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelise7/pseuds/Angelise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair wants something different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Life of His Own

**Author's Note:**

> When I was active in The Sentinel fandom, I would occasionally draw outside the lines. This is one of those times. Written in 2006. The ending stands as it is, simply because I wanted the readers to create whatever ending their imagination demanded.

Stephen Ellison’s annual July Fourth picnic was halfway over when Blair Sandburg reached inside an ice cooler for a beer and connected with Brian Rafe’s hand instead. After quickly glancing over his shoulder, he gave the dark-haired detective a shy smile before intertwining their fingers together.

“Hey,” he whispered softly, hoping against hope that his actions and words would, somehow, remain unnoticed by a nearby Sentinel. “How’ve ya been?”

“Doing good.” Rafe lazily rubbed his thumb over the inner aspect of Blair’s wrist, sighing with regret when the younger man reluctantly pulled away. “I’ve missed you.” He knew instinctively that Blair was checking for his ever-present partner each time he looked over his shoulder. It irked him immensely to know Jim could show up at any second, unannounced and unwanted, intruding without thought upon this rare moment he and Blair were sharing. 

Daring the fates, he slowly reached up and brushed his fingers over the curve of the anthropologist’s cheek, disguising the action by pushing a wayward curl back into place behind Blair’s ear. “Do you think we could get together later? I understand from Stephen there’s a newborn filly down at the stables. Maybe we could go take a look at her?” Maybe steal a few kisses? Maybe hold each other, make love to each other? He didn’t have to say the words, his eyes told Blair exactly what he was thinking and needed. 

Blair leaned into the warmth of Rafe’s hand for the span of a single heartbeat before taking a step back and claiming the beer he had originally gone after. “I’d like that,” he said as he twisted the top off. Lifting the bottle to his mouth, he looked straight at Rafe. “I’d like it a lot.”

Rafe couldn’t help but stare at the mouth he so desperately wanted to kiss, an unexpected groan nearly strangling his breath when Blair teased him by leisurely licking and tonguing the open mouth of the bottle. “Damn it, Blair,” he muttered. He grabbed a beer from the ice cooler and held it against his forehead.

Sneaking another glance, Blair verified their actions had remained unnoticed. He then moved closer and deliberately bumped against Rafe’s hip. “Maybe you should put that bottle where it’s really hot.” 

Rafe choked on the swallow of beer he’d just taken and was forcedto listen to Blair snicker when Joel Taggart came to his rescue and started beating him soundly on the back. 

“You okay, Brian?” the bomb squad captain asked.

Rafe took the wad of napkins Joel handed him and wiped his face, grimacing slightly when he saw the stain on his new, freshly starched shirt. “Must have gone down the wrong way, Joel. Thanks.”

“No problem. What are friends for?” Joel threw a wave at them before leaving to rejoin his wife at the food table.

Rafe looked over at Blair and raised an eyebrow. “Yeah. What are friends for?”

Blair grinned cheekily while saluting his companion. “You just never know.” 

Swiping clean a spot on Rafe’s chin, he leaned close and whispered wickedly, “If you walk with me to the stables, I’ll be more than happy to show you just how helpful and friendly I can be.”

Rafe carefully placed his beer on the nearest picnic table before capturing Blair’s hand and removing it from where it was teasing the side pocket on his slacks. He wanted that hand somewhere else but didn’t think Stephen would appreciate Blair jerking him off in full view of his guests. 

“What’s wrong? Not thirsty anymore?” Blair lifted his beer bottle to his mouth and suggestively licked away the condensation that had collected on the dark glass. “You look thirsty. In fact, you look very thirsty.” 

Blair waved at Cassie Wells over Rafe’s shoulder before lowering his bottle to his side and swinging it back and forth. He chuckled softly as he accidentally made contact with Rafe’s groin. His grin widened when he repeated the motion, sneakily tapping the slowly growing bulge that was covered by nicely ironed ‘Ralph Lauren’ slacks. “You know, I’m kinda thirsty myself. Wanna quench it?”

Rafe gripped the edge of the table behind him and held on for dear life, forcing out between his clenched teeth the name of the man that, with one look, could shut down Blair’s teasing. “Jim. What about Jim?” 

Blair stopped his teasing and again stared straight at Rafe. This moment was about the two of them and in the blink of an eye, he decided it was time to quit putting his life on hold and take what was freely being offered to him. “Jim can quench his own damn thirst.”

Snagging another beer from the ice cooler, Blair handed it off to a passing Henri Brown. “H, my man! You mind taking this to Jim? He’s over at the barbeque pit with Simon and Stephen.”

His eyes narrowing with curiosity, Henri looked over Blair’s shoulder at his silent partner before taking the bottle being held out to him. “Sure. No problem, Hairboy.” He peered a little closer at Rafe, noting the slight trembling of his upper torso. “You okay, Bri?”

Not trusting himself to speak, Rafe merely nodded his head and offered Henri a tight smile. 

“He’s fine, H,” Blair piped up. “Choked on his beer a second ago, but he’s okay now.” Taking pity on Rafe, Blair took a step back and gave the man room to breathe. “Right, Brian? Tell H you’re okay.”

Rafe pried his fingers free and pushed away from the table, amazed that his unsteady legs managed to keep him upright. He broke eye contact with Blair long enough to assure his frowning partner. “I’m fine, H. Joel kinda knocked the wind out of me when he was pounding me on the back. That’s all.”

“Uh huh.” Taking one last look, H raised his beer in salute and walked away, shaking his head. 

Rafe glanced at Blair, and both men shared a smile of chagrin, knowing full well that Brown in no way believed their explanations. Deciding it was time to take their conversation somewhere private, Rafe began to walk toward the stables, Blair falling in step beside him, close enough so that their hands brushed against each other as they walked. A thought suddenly occurred to Rafe and he stopped, swiping his hand through his hair. Before he could even lower his arm, Blair was there to sweep back the one lock that was forever falling down into his eyes.

“You do realize H is going to ask a million questions when I get to work on Monday,” Rafe said.

“That shouldn’t be a problem. Just answer them.” Away from the eyes and ears that could see and hear way too much, Blair grew bolder and openly caressed the side of Rafe’s face. “Answer them honestly.”

Rafe resumed walking, taking a moment to contemplate what Blair had just said. He understood the true intent of those last three words but, after six months of brief clandestine moments and covert dates with Blair, he felt he had to ask, had to be sure the man beside him understood the consequences of what he was saying.

“Blair? Are you really ready to take that step? We both know the moment I say anything about us to H, it’ll be all over the department. There’ll be no turning back.” 

Rafe caught Blair’s hand and lifted it to his mouth, softly kissing its palm. “It would please me to no end to openly show my feelings for you, but this isn’t just about me. I’m not the one with the partner who’s not only overprotective but downright possessive. If this is going to cause problems for you with Jim, I’d just as soon leave H guessing.”

The two of them had reached the shadowed sanctuary of the stables. Blair pulled Rafe into an empty stall, wrapping his arms around the man’s shoulders and burying his face in the unbuttoned vee of Rafe’s shirt. “I wish I could explain, wish I could tell you….”

“What?” Rafe asked. “Tell me that Jim really is a Sentinel and that, for some reason, he needs to have you at his side 24/7 in order to function as one?” 

Smiling tenderly at Blair’s stupefied expression, he hooked a finger beneath his chin and closed his mouth. “I’m a detective, Blair. A damn good detective. From day one I’ve been paying close attention and, if you’ll remember, I’ve been partnered with Jim the few times you couldn’t get away from your work at Rainier.”

Rafe slid his hand around Blair’s neck and pulled him close enough to kiss. “When your thesis went public, I put two and two together and, suddenly, it all made sense. At least to me it made sense.”

Blair pushed Rafe backwards, into the farthest corner of the stable, where the shadows were the thickest. A sense of relief flooded his mind as he slowly unbuttoned Rafe’s shirt. He had been grappling with the need to keep Jim’s secret safe and the need to explain their unique relationship to Rafe. Blair knew it hurt Rafe each time he declined an invitation to lunch, a visit to the museum or an outing to a Jags game. He saw it in his eyes, and he knew there wasn’t a damn thing he could say that would explain everything to Rafe and also protect Jim. But now… now it seemed his astute lover had somehow, some way figured out the very thing he’d been struggling with. Maybe he could have his cake and eat it, too. Be Jim’s Guide and have a life of his own, a life that included Brian Rafe.

“Jim’s a Sentinel, yes. I’m….” Blair pressed his lips to the hollow of Rafe’s throat and licked the small indentation. “I’m his Guide. I help him with his senses.” 

He sucked briefly on the warm skin that lay beneath his mouth before lifting his eyes to Rafe’s face. “He needs me… needs me to guide him, to center him, to bring him back when his senses go haywire and send him into no man’s land.”

Rafe crushed the jealousy that rushed through him. Here he was falling in love with a man who could never be his one hundred percent. And even if they did, by the grace of God, manage to come together as a couple, Jim would forever be right behind them, stealing Blair away whenever he needed him. Was he strong enough to deal with that aspect of Blair’s life? Did he love the man enough to accept the role Jim would forever play in their relationship? 

Another thought occurred to him but the touch of warm air on his bare skin caused Rafe to momentarily forget what he was thinking. He looked down and his breath instantly stalled in his chest as he watched Blair push his shirt open and softly kiss his way from one nipple to the other. Groaning, he tangled his fingers in a tangle of soft curls and directed his lover’s teasing mouth to other areas on his body that were begging to feel the heat of those kisses. 

Turning the two of them around, Rafe braced Blair against the wall and straddled his legs, smiling when he felt Blair’s matching hardness press against his own. “The Sentinel and his Guide,” he whispered huskily. “Does this mean you’ll always be at Jim’s beck and call? It’s been three years, Blair.” Rafe relinquished his hold and slid his hands down Blair’s back to his ass, cupping it, squeezing it as he rocked hard against him. “Does Jim still need you every minute of the day and night?”

Blair mimicked Rafe’s actions, slipping his hands inside the back pockets of his lover’s slacks and gripping the firm flesh beneath, quickening the rhythm of their bodies as they moved against each other. “No, yes, I mean… I’m his Guide and with that comes certain responsibilities.” 

Blair latched onto the side of Rafe’s neck with his teeth. He moaned deep in his throat when the sudden explosion of heat in his groin sent him an urgent warning. “Brian! Oh god! Please.” He gripped Rafe’s shoulders and pushed him to his knees.

Recognizing the hunger in the voice that teased him every night on the phone before going to bed, Rafe temporarily shelved their conversation. With hands that were trembling slightly, he quickly unfastened Blair’s jeans and, after pushing aside underwear, knelt and captured Blair’s erection with his mouth. 

Rafe hungrily sucked on the hard column of flesh until it surrendered a flood of hot semen. Swallowing noisily, he finally allowed the spent organ to slip free of his mouth but only after catching every drop of Blair’s release. A sigh of appreciation greeted his cleanup detail but before he could finish his job, Blair’s knees hit him in the chest on his downward slide to the ground. Rafe fell back on his ass just in time to gather the pliant anthropologist in his arms. A few minutes of lazy kissing and cuddling passed before Blair had the energy to speak again.

“Brian, you have to understand. I’ll always be there for Jim. It’s a Sentinel-Guide thing, a connection that will always bind us together.” Signaling Rafe to stretch out his legs, he took up a position between them and rested his back against Rafe’s chest. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t be with you. Just ‘cause I’m Jim’s Guide doesn’t mean that I’m not entitled to a life of my own, that I can’t love somebody, that I can’t love you. It’s just….”

“What? It’s just what?”  _Here it comes_ , Rafe thought, the words that could possibly destroy everything. He slid his hands beneath Blair’s shirt, taking comfort in the warmth of the younger man’s skin. “What is it, Blair? Tell me.”

Blair gripped Rafe’s thighs and leaned back his head, seeking shelter in the crook of Rafe’s neck. “Jim’s possessive, man. In a major way. He might not take too kindly to sharing. Sometimes I think he forgets there’s more to my life that just being his Guide.” He looked up at Rafe. “I guess I’m to blame for some of his possessiveness. This past year I’ve been pretty much at his side. No dating except for you, and we both know that I haven’t exactly been broadcasting the fact we’re together.” 

“Why do I have to share?” Tightening his hold, Rafe pressed a kiss to Blair’s temple. “Can’t Jim find another guide?” he asked grumpily.

“Not the way it works, Bri.” Blair returned Rafe’s kiss and began to teasingly stroke the length of his thighs. “One Guide, one Sentinel. I hate to say it but when you take me on, you take on Jim as well.” With a smile, he wriggled backwards, bumping his ass against Rafe’s groin. “Not as bad as you think. Well, that is if you ignore all of Jim’s anal retentive rules when it comes to his Guide dating other people. Like I’ve said before, he’s one protective and possessive partner. Which ain’t so bad when you think about it.” 

Rafe looked across the stable at the far wall and contemplated the sunlight filtering through the wooden slats. “So, it’s you and me and Jim makes three. I’m not sure but I  **think** I can handle that, although….” He buried his face in the softness of Blair’s curls, searching for the courage to ask the one question he needed an answer to. “Is loving Jim part of the Sentinel-Guide thing? Will I have to share your love, too?”

Blair immediately scrambled to his knees and straddled Rafe’s thighs, his arms circling the detective’s neck, bringing them face to face. “I love you, Brian Rafe. You’re the one I want. The one I want to kiss, hug, love and fuck. You’re the one I dream about riding my ass, holding me while I sleep, fighting me for the last piece of rhubarb pie. Not Jim. Definitely not Jim.” Blair searched Rafe’s eyes, easily seeing the man’s fears and insecurities. “I know that was kinda over the top but I  **really** need for you to understand. I  **do** love Jim. He’s my partner, my Sentinel, my friend, but he’s  **not** my lover. He’s not the one I want to commit to and spend the rest of my life with.” 

A feeling of extreme breathlessness slammed him in the chest, and he lowered his eyes in embarrassment. “Shit!” he whispered hoarsely. “I think I just proposed marriage.” Rafe’s soft chuckle made him look up and he found the man grinning at him. “Sorry about that. Kinda got carried away.”

Blair tried to look away again but Rafe lunged forward and captured his lips with a kiss, pressing them open so that he could slip his tongue inside and taste the love that had just been offered to him. “No you don’t,” he laughed. “No backing out now.” He pulled off the signet ring he always wore, the ring that been passed down from his grandfather to his father and, finally, to him. “I accept your proposal,” he said as he slipped the ring on Blair’s finger.

Suddenly at a loss for words, Blair stared at the ring, his heart nearly strangling him it was beating so hard and so fast. His finger trembling, he traced the gold  _R_ that lay embedded in the square onyx stone. “Wow,” he exclaimed. “I guess this means come Monday we can definitely tell H about us?”

Kissing Blair again, a low moan rumbling through his chest, Rafe gripped the man’s hips and began shifting him back and forth. His body was suddenly very hungry for Blair’s touch and now that he knew he had a future with him, he couldn’t think of a better way to spend a lazy afternoon than making love with  **his** fiancée.

“Maybe,” Rafe threw back his head when Blair slipped a hand inside his slacks and began to slowly caress him. “Maybe we should tell that possessive Sentinel of yours first? Wouldn’t… fuck! Blair!” He thrust his hips upward, desperate to ride the hand gripping his erection. “Wouldn’t….” Gnawing on his lower lip, he struggled to remain coherent. “Wouldn’t want Jim to… to find out about us secondhand and then… oh shit... and then have him kill me for stealing his Guide.” Rafe closed his eyes and gave himself up to the pleasure of Blair’s talented hands.

“I say,” Blair grinned wickedly as he slid one hand further down and squeezed Rafe’s balls. “I say we get him fall-down drunk this evening, take him home and then tell him. That way he won’t be able to catch us when we run for our lives.” Leaning forward, Blair licked Rafe’s lower lip, nipping the tender flesh and smiling at the shiver that coursed through his lover’s body. “What do you think?” He increased the rhythm of his hand, squeezing Rafe’s cock with each stroke.

“Good plan. Perfect plan.” No match for his enthusiastic, hopefully soon-to-be life partner, Rafe gave up trying to guide Blair’s movements and simply allowed him to take over their loving. It wasn’t long before he felt the rapid flush of heat gather in his belly and begin to travel southward. He quickly covered Blair’s hand and bucked helplessly as his seed spurted out, the steamy liquid staining their intertwined fingers before soaking into his underwear. 

“Blair!” He cried out as he pulled him into a shuddering embrace. ‘ _I love you, Brian_ ,’ was whispered in his ear and in a completely incoherent daze, repeated the sentiment word for word, his declaration bringing forth a chuckle that was immediately followed by a kiss to his nose.

Blair cuddled close and burrowed his hands inside Rafe’s open shirt, lazily drawing circles on the detective’s back. He protested when Rafe insisted on moving him just long enough to make sure both of them were again decently covered. “Nobody’s gonna see us,” he mumbled. Yawning, he nuzzled Rafe’s neck and suggested, “How ‘bout we take a short nap before going to find Jim? We should have just enough time before the party ends to get him royally drunk.” 

“Another great plan, babe.” Rafe tucked Blair’s head beneath his chin and sighed happily. This was definitely turning out to be the best July Fourth ever.

 

+++++++

 

Simon wiped his lips after sampling the piece of melt-in-your mouth BBQ pork Stephen had given him. Turning to his friend standing beside him, he noticed Jim staring off into the distance. “Jim?” The sound of crushing aluminum drew his gaze to Jim’s hand and the once intact beer can he was clenching. “Jim? Is something wrong?”

Ellison frowned.

“Maybe.”

 

The end

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